Chapter 1

The night before that dawn

The slanting rays of the afternoon peeped in through the curtains.Leaves of the banyan,who were married to the branches were eloping with the wind…to an unknown destiny.There were many more leaves..there were many strokes of grey and white in the sky..But the day was nearing its end… He feared death for the first time.He looked inside.Behind the curtains she was looking at him with love.He smiled faintly.She went up to him and gently touched his face. He felt like a kid.He lay on her laps and wept,counting his sins..She was gently passing her fingers through his hair.He looked out of the window of the train of life.Somebody lighted a cigar on the western horizon.Grey crept over the walls of the sky.The day held the dusk tightly.He felt a rare pain.The dusk threw colors.The dusk smeared red powder on its cheeks. The dusk was intoxicated by bhang.The dusk stooped and stumbled in the dark.Lust blossomed as stars just to fall as a shooting star and the dusk was lost..forgotten..His stream of thoughts sublimed into a short nap.
He woke up to a distant clinging of bells and aartis.It was still dusk.She was busy lighting the lamps in front of the huge painting of the Goddess.He suddenly,strangely felt like preparing a lemonade for her..and only for her.He went to the kitchen and took a lemon.While cutting it he accidentally cut his finger.When she came back she found him with a bleeding finger.The blood was not white as pearls..It was dripping from his finger like rubies..She dressed his wound.She was delighted to see the change in him.She drank the lemonade and smiled at him.He drank the rest.She lighted the Dhunuchi.The fragrance and the fragile smoke filled the air.The smoke lashed at his face.A thousand mosquitoes flew out of his mind.A Polash tree blossomed in his mind.And the twigs of the Polash were burning in the sacred fire accompanied by the rhythm of mantras. He could feel his sins burning in it like an age old Chola empire.His heart was no longer cold.It was brooding like a pigeon..warm and cozy.

He took the squeezed lemons and pressed in the middle to form small lemon diyas.He placed them on a plate and took it to the room.

She was in deep meditation. He lit the lemon diyas and prayed to the Goddess.It rained and his mind was smeared by ash from an age old an Aghori..The smoke from the Dhunuchi was still dissolving in the fragrance of the air…The night withdrew..And the dawn was blushing red…

Chapter 1


“Shhhh..brulllll..”the sound of urine falling on the water inside the closet resonated inside his bathroom.He felt that there is a music in urine.It took long because he had lots of urine.It was white in color,or was like the sky after the rain,so pale.Even last week, it was like Appy fizz.So golden and it created bubbles and foam in the closet water.He got out of the toilet,put on his zip and got out.It is time for college.

The bus was a bit crowded.He stood in the front region,listening to the journey song.There was a tourist bus in front of his bus.Some fluid was dripping from it,as if it was urinating.

The sky was clouded.There were oil stains in the roads,painted by rainbows.His bladder was full again.He has to walk a lot to reach the college.He can urinate on that side of the footpath.Thought streams interrupted him.”Hey that will pollute our city”.”But this is India and lots of people do that here and there is nothing wrong in case of an EMERGENCY”. But he just decided not to do so.He has to be different and moreover this is swachh bharat.

Somehow he reached the college.He rushed to the boys toilet.He noticed the conversion of a smile to a surprise in acquainted faces.But there was no time to address them at that moment,because it was an emergency.

The boys toilet was smelly,stinky and dirty.No Chemistry lab or Junkyard could match it.Since it was a public toilet and since it was clogged,there was a cocktail of urine and some wriggling creatures and larvae in the closet.He could not urinate,maybe his urine was too proud,just like him.

As usual he had lots of free hours that day.He couldn’t go out because of attendance issues,yet another wasted day.He felt terribly angry with the whole world.There was a time when he had spent extra hours at school and those times were worth everything.He was worried with the college.He felt like taking revenge.But how?He could commit suicide by jumping into the college well,and before dying he would urinate in the well,so that the whole college will drink his urine.Ha ha ha.”Oh God!How crazy and devilish I am!”He thought.

After college,he was walking home with his mind occupied by several anxieties.He never expected college to be like this.His friends say that this is the best 3 years of his life.But he is way too anxious about his future.He feels insecure..always.He sipped the hot tea,slowly.The samovar was growling.And his stomach was also growling.He was hungry.

He got the side seat in the bus.The breeze ran its fingers through his hair.The cold air hugged him close.The rain sang a lullaby.He felt like sleeping.With his droopy,sleepy eyes he saw the flex of Attukal bhagavathy and he felt that she was smiling at him.He felt a rare sense of tranquility.He smiled.

He came in,kept his bag aside and went inside the toilet in his room.There was peaceful silence which dissolved in the sound of the belt and the unzipping jeans and to the musical “shhh..brulll.”He felt so light and relaxed.He came out of the toilet humming a forgotten tune of tranquility..